Clothes off
by Nival Vixen
Summary: COMPLETE! Rob and Left Ear get Lyle drunk after a recent break-up and find out what he wants in a woman. Rob then sets out to find that woman for Lyle. But with the arrival of an old friend and a new job, Lyle may just get the woman by himself. Lyle/OC
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own The Italian Job, or anything associated with it. I do own this story, and any original characters that may appear.

Full summary: After getting their friend completely smashed after a break-up, Rob and Left Ear find out exactly what Lyle wants in a woman. Handsome Rob, being the friend that he is, tries to get it for Lyle. But after some mistakes, some fun, and some scares, Lyle may just find the right woman all by himself.

...

Chapter One

...

Lyle "The Napster" was at this very moment, completely drunk. He never could handle large amounts of alcohol, and both Left Ear and Handsome Rob knew that. They usually made sure he didn't drink more than a couple glasses of champagne, but lately Lyle's moping over women had changed their minds.

In order to cheer him up, Rob came up with the idea to get Lyle absolutely smashed and make him reveal exactly what he wanted from a woman. That way Rob would be able to find the woman, set him up and stop all of his annoying moping. Rob envied Charlie and Stella to the point he wished he'd gone to Venice with them on their honeymoon. Lyle really knew how to mope.

"So, tell us Lyle," Rob began.

"I can't believe she left me! And for that stupid tall, handsome guy with his rugged looks and abs. I mean, what's he got that I don't?! Besides all that," Lyle slurred.

"Absolutely nothing, mate," Rob reassured him, looking to Left Ear.

"Well, you know you weren't so happy with her yourself, anyway. She was a supermodel, what was so bad about that?" Left Ear prompted Lyle, clapping him on the back.

Lyle started to fall forward, the drink and hit on the back too much for him. Rob and Left Ear hurried to hold him up properly.

"She wouldn't do it," Lyle muttered.

"Do what, mate?" Rob asked. "Have sex with you?"

Left Ear frowned at Rob at that. They'd all seen Lyle's ecstatic face the morning after he had slept with his supermodel girlfriend. There was no mistaking the boy had got laid.

"She had sex with me!" Lyle announced, louder than he should have.

"All right, mate. We believe you," Rob hurried to say, aware of the looks they were getting from others at the bar. "What wouldn't she do then?"

"She wouldn't take her clothes off. If I didn't have the stereo with the speakers and the sound, she would never have got naked to start with. I mean, for you," Lyle slurred, looking at Rob, "For you, she would have gotten naked if you so much as looked at her! But me? I needed a fucking stereo to do that," he muttered.

"I think he's going to be sick, man," Left Ear said, letting go of Lyle quickly.

Lyle fell forward again, and Rob hurried to hold him up so he wouldn't fall to the ground.

"He's not going to be sick, mate. Just help me get him home," Rob muttered.

Left Ear looked dubious and wary, even as he grabbed Lyle's other arm and helped Rob carry him out of the bar.

...

Rob looked at the women before him with a critical eye. They were all prostitutes. He didn't need them of course, being Handsome Rob. He could have got any woman he wanted for free. Although the busty red-head had already whispered in his ear that she would do him for free, Rob had simply nodded and kept looking. He was here for Lyle, not for himself. If he really wanted to, he could swing by and pick up the red-head later.

"You like short red-heads?" he asked one of the women, a blonde.

"I'd rather you, babe," she replied, winking at him.

"As nice as that sounds, I think I'll pass. You like short red-heads?" Rob asked, a little frustrated that he had to repeat himself.

"I like anyone if they've got the cash," she answered, a little put out at his reply.

"Good. You got a nice dress then? I don't want my friend knowing I paid for you, if you don't mind," Rob asked, charming her when he noticed her annoyed expression.

"Of course I've got a nice dress! The guys usually just expect this, you know?" she replied with a half-grin as she indicated to her small and tight-fitting attire.

"Bloody wankers should look past the outfit," Rob murmured sympathetically.

"So your friend, is he here now?"

"He's at home nursing a hangover, actually," Rob said, grinning. "You can meet him tonight," he said, giving the woman the address for the bar he and Left Ear would drag Lyle to that night. "Now, here's the thing..." Rob added, telling her the one and only condition.

...

End of first chapter. Hope you liked it.

...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own The Italian Job, or anything associated with it. I do own this story, and any original characters that may appear.

Full summary: After getting their friend completely smashed after a break-up, Rob and Left Ear find out exactly what Lyle wants in a woman. Handsome Rob, being the friend that he is, tries to get it for Lyle. But after some mistakes, some fun, and some scares, Lyle may just find the right woman all by himself.

...

Chapter Two

...

"I don't want to go out. My head is killing me from last night, I've felt sick all day, and I'm starting to think you two got me drunk on purpose!" Lyle said.

"We wouldn't do that, mate. We just want to get your mind off of Melissa," Rob said, grinning.

"Her name was Melinda," Lyle said, glaring at the speaker box on his apartment wall.

"Right, that one. Come on, it'll be fun," Rob said, nodding at Left Ear to get him to say something encouraging.

"Yeah, tons of fun," Left Ear said, rolling his eyes.

He let go of the speaker button, glaring at Rob.

"If he throws up on my shoes again, you're buying me two new pairs, got it?"

"If he throws up on your shoes, that means he wouldn't be going home with the girl. I'll buy you three pairs, all right? Just calm down. I already apologised about that last night," Rob muttered, pressing the button again. "Come on, Napster. Left Ear's buying the beers," he said, grinning.

"I bought them last night, you English cheap skate!" Left Ear hissed.

"You're not going to get me drunk again, are you?" Lyle asked.

"We won't; promise," Rob said, grinning again.

...

Lyle looked around the bar, wondering exactly why he'd let Rob and Left Ear take him out again. They'd insisted he get this round of drinks with Left Ears money. Something about seeing if he could walk in a straight line while holding three beers, after drinking two.

He was almost positive that they'd got him drunk on purpose last night. He couldn't remember most of what he said, and that was almost as bad as the fact that he remembered throwing up on Left Ear's shoes.

"Hi, can I buy you a drink?"

Lyle looked over to his right. A red-headed guy was sitting there, and he was getting chatted up by a beautiful blonde!

"S-sure!" the guy replied eagerly, staring at her.  
_  
That lucky bastard_, Lyle thought to himself, looking away sourly.

Lyle nodded to the barman who handed him the three drinks, and he headed back to the table without spilling a drop.

"I told you I could carry all three without spilling them!" Lyle announced, grinning.

Then he noticed the looks on their faces, and frowned. Rob looked like he'd just been rejected by the world's hottest female, and Left Ear was laughing almost hysterically at his expression.

"What's so funny?" Lyle demanded.

"Nothing. Not one fucking thing," Rob muttered, glaring over at the bar.

"Oh, man. That's hilarious. Good on you for getting the beers here, Napster," Left Ear said, still laughing.

"Right. Thanks," he murmured, taking his own beer.

"Do you want another one, Napster?" Rob offered after they'd finished their third beer.

The withering look Left Ear gave him made Lyle change his mind immediately.

"No, I'm good," Lyle said quickly. "Might get going," he added when Left Ear moved his feet away, glaring at the empty glass in front of Lyle.

Left Ear just nodded, and Rob muttered something about a red-head. Lyle shook his head and left.

...

End of second chapter. Hope you liked it.

Thanks for reading!

...


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own The Italian Job, or anything associated with it. I do own this story, and any original characters that may appear.

Full summary: After getting their friend completely smashed after a break-up, Rob and Left Ear find out exactly what Lyle wants in a woman. Handsome Rob, being the friend that he is, tries to get it for Lyle. But after some mistakes, some fun, and some scares, Lyle may just find the right woman all by himself.

...

Chapter Three

...

Charlie listened as Rob explained what he'd tried to do for Lyle, Stella beside him laughing at Rob's crestfallen look.

"Well, you tried. I'm sure he appreciates it," Charlie said, unable to hold back his grin.

"I didn't tell him," Rob said, rolling his eyes.

"Okay, then he would have appreciated the effort if you did tell him," he amended. "While Stella and I were in Venice we ..."

"We don't want to know!" Left Ear said, covering his ear with a wince.

"Speak for yourself," Wrench said, winking at Stella.

"We got a job offer," Stella finished, ignoring Wrench's look.

"What for?" Rob asked, frowning.

"We'll wait for Lyle. He should have been here by now, shouldn't he?" Charlie asked.

"How drunk did you get him last night?" Stella asked, looking at Left Ear and Rob sternly.

"He only had the three beers," Rob replied, shrugging.

"I hear his bike now. Handsome Rob, you'd better get ready to catch him," Charlie said with a grin.

Lyle pulled up on his motorbike, managing to stop it. He'd been practising a lot, but he still wasn't strong enough to hold the bike up by himself, and fell over.

Rob held back a laugh as he helped him up, Left Ear spluttering laughter into a closed fist. Wrench didn't have any reserves and just laughed.

"You've gotten better at riding that bike, Lyle. Sorry, Napster," Charlie said, grinning again when Lyle glared at him briefly.

"Tease me all you like, I can hack into your bank accounts and leave you with nothing," Lyle muttered.

He grinned when they all stopped laughing quickly.

"They didn't mean anything by it, Napster," Stella said, unable to hide her own grin.

"So what's happening? How was the honeymoon?" Lyle asked, grinning at Charlie.

"It was good, we ..." Charlie began

"I didn't actually want to know! Geez!" Lyle said quickly, going red as his eyes widened slightly.

Charlie threw his hands up, shaking his head.

"We got a job offer," Stella said, grinning at her husband.

"In Venice? Geez, didn't we already steal whatever was worth stealing in Venice?" Lyle muttered.

"The job isn't in Venice," she replied, sighing.

"Who's the mastermind? Don't you always do the plans, Charlie?" Lyle asked, looking at him.

"Let Stella finish, would you, Lyle?" Charlie muttered, shaking his head at him.

"The job is an even split between all of us, we have been assured of that. The client wants us to crack a safe, and acquire its contents without any notice."

"Like the Italian job. Minimum fuss for a whole lot of cash," Charlie added, grinning.

Sans the betrayal and death, Lyle hoped silently.

"The client is allowing Charlie to plan it, and will let us to do most of the details, with their own expertise if its needed," Stella said.

Lyle scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Sounds like this person's just getting us to do all of his dirty work and then get a share of the money," he muttered.

"He has a point. Who is this guy, how do we know he can be trusted?" Rob asked, looking at Stella and Charlie.

Stella and Charlie exchanged a look, and a noise from the back of their Mini made everyone jump.

"Fuck, I'm so bloody jet lagged. Why do you look so goddamned chipper at this time of the morning?" a voice muttered, a woman glaring out the window at Stella, her hair in every direction.

"It's two in the afternoon!" Stella replied, looking to Charlie.

"We didn't want to wake you, Archie. Figured you'd be better off with the rest," Charlie explained with a slight grin.

"Got any apples?" Archie asked as she got out of the car, yawning widely.

Rob smirked as he looked at the woman's state of undress; she was only in a small pair of shorts and a pyjama top that looked a size too small. Wrench let out a low whistle, and Left Ear averted his eyes quickly. Archie ignored all of them and stretched her arms, cramped from sleeping in the back of a Mini Cooper.

"No apples, sorry. There's coffee though," Charlie offered.

"Like I want to put that disgusting stuff in my body. I'll just have water," she muttered, pulling on a pair of pants.

"What's wrong with you, mate?" Rob hissed at Lyle, who was staring at Archie slack-jawed. "You've seen a woman naked before, close your mouth. You're embarrassing me," Rob muttered, nudging him.

Archie pulled a jumper on, making her hair worse, and looked over at them then, walking over.

"Darcy Hill?" Lyle said, his mouth still hanging open.

"Hi Lyle. Long time no see," she said cheerfully, and then Archie punched him, knocking Lyle out cold.

...

End of third chapter. Hope you liked it.

Thanks for reading!

...


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I don't own The Italian Job! Stella and the story are mine! Shawn Fanning's "character" has been made with **lots** of creative liberties!

**Summary:** Full summary: After getting their friend completely smashed after a break-up, Rob and Left Ear find out exactly what Lyle wants in a woman. Handsome Rob, being the friend that he is, tries to get it for Lyle. But after some mistakes, some fun, and some scares, Lyle may just find the right woman all by himself.

...

Chapter Four

...

_Some years before..._

Lyle glared across the cafeteria at his roommate. Shawn Fanning ignored his piercing glare, and Lyle returned to his lunch, stabbing the sausage with more force than necessary.

"I know he stole it! It was my program, my idea! That bloody prick," Lyle muttered, stabbing the meat product a few more times. "It was going to make me famous, dammit!"

"Just get it back from him then," Darcy said, sighing.

_It was the fifth time in the past twenty minutes that Lyle had brought up his stupid program. It wasn't her fault that he'd fallen asleep in front of his computer, so why did she have to continuously hear about it_?

"If it was that easy, I would have done it already," Lyle said, scoffing at her suggestion.

"Have you even tried?" Darcy asked, rolling her eyes at him.

Lyle glared down at the table.

"No," he admitted sourly. "But he won't give it back to me. He's taller than me," Lyle muttered.

"The entire campus population is taller than you, Lyle! Get your balls out of your damned computer, and go get your stupid program back!"

"If you think he'd give it back, you go get it!" Lyle replied.

Darcy muttered to herself at the stupidity of someone who was really quite smart.

"You're such a coward," she said, shaking her head.

Standing up, Darcy grabbed her bag and started across the cafeteria towards Shawn. As she made her way towards him, she continued to mutter under her breath about Lyle's idiocy.

"Shawn, give me Lyle's program disk back," Darcy said forcefully, glaring at him.

Shawn just laughed.

"He's too weak to do it himself, so he sends his little girlfriend to get it for him!" Shawn said, laughing.

"I'm not his girlfriend. Now give it back," Darcy said, moving closer.

"If you're not his girlfriend, prove it to me. Then I'll give his alleged program back," Shawn retorted, smirking.

"How do you expect me to prove that to you?" Darcy asked, rolling her eyes.

"The same way any other girl would," he leered.

"Fine, just give me the bloody disc," Darcy replied, shaking her head.

"Kiss me first!" Shawn said, smirking broader as his friends laughed.

"Stupid typical male," Darcy muttered under her breath as she moved closer to him, kissed his cheek and grabbed his nipple through his shirt, twisting hard. "You got what you wanted, now give me the disc, you chauvinistic bastard!" she growled, twisting his nipple tighter.

"Fucking bitch, let go!"

"Give me the disc, Fanning, or I'll be grabbing something else," Darcy hissed.

She was perversely pleased when his face paled drastically.

"I-I don't have it with me," Shawn stammered.

"The truth, Fanning," Darcy said, twisting tighter still. "No one would steal something that valuable and then just leave it lying around!"

"It's just a stupid project! It's nothing valuable!" he replied, sounding confused.

Darcy's grip lessened slightly.

"He keeps working on that damn thing to all hours of the morning and I can't fucking sleep. I just wanted a night without his relentless typing and whatever else he does at that computer screen, for fuck's sakes!" Shawn muttered. "You're saying it's valuable?" he asked, grinning despite the position Darcy still had him in.

Darcy sighed, pulled Shawn off his chair and brought him to her eye level. "Give me the disc, Fanning," she said, already sick of him.

She had no idea how Lyle had survived three years with this idiot as a roommate.

_Oh, that's right. He's spineless and wouldn't say boo to a fly_!

"Fine! You've got to let go of me first, I can't see where I'm walking otherwise," he sneered.

Darcy let him go, but grabbed the back of his neck as he turned around. "Now you can see where you're walking!" she said in a mocking tone. "Now start walking."

It didn't take long for Darcy to get the disc from Fanning. After some well-placed threats to his manhood, she left the dorm area with the bright red floppy disc in her hands.

"Did you get it?" Lyle asked, his eyes wide as she walked over to him.

"Yeah, I got it. Next time, just get the balls to ask yourself," Darcy said, throwing the disc to him.

Lyle stared down at the disc for a moment, then looked up at her with an expression that was definitely **_not_** gratitude.

"This isn't my disc," he said.

"What?!"

"Next time you get your girlfriend to do something for you, give her a description of it, dork!" Fanning yelled from the cafeteria doors, waving the green disc in the air.

His friends were around him, laughing hysterically.

Lyle went bright red, and Darcy grounded her teeth in anger.

"I'm going to fucking castrate the bastard," she growled.

"Don't!" Lyle said quickly.

"What are you talking about? He's the one who stole your precious disc, remember? The same person you've been complaining about for three years straight!"

"I know. Just don't do anything to him. I'll get it from him tomorrow," Lyle muttered, sighing heavily as he poked at his mutilated sausage.

"You sure about that Lyle?" Darcy asked after a moment of silence.

"Sure I'm sure," Lyle replied, grinning briefly at her.

"All right," Darcy muttered, shrugging as she sat down again.

Shawn Fanning left the college that very day, became famous for more than the supposed fifteen minutes, was featured on the cover of _Wired_ magazine, and didn't graduate from college.

After Lyle saw Fanning on the cover of _Wired_ magazine, he refused to talk to Darcy again. He ignored her at every possible moment, pretended she didn't exist, and looked the opposite way whenever she was near.

Darcy muttered over the stupidity of the male species, passed and graduated her computer course, made her online name Archie - _women hackers don't get the same respect_, she found - and promised that she would get her revenge on Lyle.

...

_Five minutes after Lyle was knocked out by Darcy..._

"Did you really have to hit him so hard, Archie?" Charlie.

"Lyle's a genius! What if you gave him brain damage?" Handsome Rob.

"He's a wimp. And I can hack circles around his arse any day of the week." Darcy bloody Hill.

_Shit, it wasn't a dream_.

"Hey, guys. I think he's awake now!" Left Ear.

Lyle opened his eyes to see Left Ear and Wrench crouched over him. There was concern in Left Ear's face, but just amusement in Wrench's.

"Can't believe you just got knocked out by a girl, Nappy boy," Wrench said, laughing into his fist.

His laughter was choked off abruptly as a crow bar was pulled tight under his chin.

"This girl has a black belt in karate, has studied against the very best martial artists in dojos throughout Tokyo, and can download any fighting style directly into her brain. Who's the girl now?" Archie sneered into his ear, pulling the crowbar a little tighter.

"You can do that?" Left Ear asked, frowning.

Archie let go of Wrench with a laugh. "Not yet, but I still make it sound better than _The Matrix_ does," Archie replied, smirking.

"I like women that can fight back," Wrench said, flexing his arms.

"Where's the water?" Archie asked Charlie, ignoring Wrench.

"I'll show you," Stella said, grinning at Wrench's expression as she led Archie away.

"All right, Lyle ... Napster ... Spill; how do you know her?" Wrench asked, nudging him in the ribs. "Ex-girlfriend?"

"I think we should get some ice for his eye first," Charlie interrupted, seeing the black bruise that was appearing.

"Damn, man. You've really got to learn how to take a hit," Wrench muttered, shaking his head at him.

"Shut up, Wrench," Lyle muttered, glaring at him.

He winced as the expression made his face hurt.

"So if she's not your ex, can I go for her?" Wrench asked, smirking at Lyle.

"Only in your dreams, Wrench," Archie said, rolling her eyes at him as she came back into the warehouse with Stella.

Stella was glaring at Lyle, and Charlie looked at her with a raised eyebrow, questioning her expression silently.

"So how do you know Archie?" Stella asked Lyle pointedly, still glaring at him.

"We went to college together," Lyle said, sounding nervous. "Can I get some ice for my eye now?" he muttered, trying to go to the kitchen - the only room that had another exit.

"Oh, no. You're going to sit there until you've told us everything," Stella said, pushing him to the chair in front of his computers.

Lyle looked at the ground, his face going red. "Let Darcy tell you if you really want to know."

Archie just smirked and told them what happened with Shawn Fanning. "And after Fanning got his ugly mug plastered on the cover of _Wired_, Lyle refused to speak to me," she finished.

"That's a bit harsh, mate," Rob muttered to Lyle, frowning.

"I was younger then; stupid," Lyle muttered, touching his eye tenderly.

"You probably still are an idiot," Archie muttered, not quite under her breath.

"What would you know, Darcy?" Lyle asked, glaring at her again.

"More than you know about me," Archie replied, smirking at him. "I know that you hacked the L.A. Automated Traffic Surveillance and Control Operations Center last year to get onto the cover of _Wired_ magazine as 'the real Napster' ... "

"Something that was published in _Wired_, so everyone knows it," Lyle pointed out.

"I know that you've tapped your ex-ex-ex-girlfriend's phone line and every time that she talks about you, you take five cents from her bank account and put it as bank fees. You're getting royalties on your own name, Nappy boy, and that's how I know you're still stupid."

"Actually, I think that's pretty smart," Left Ear said to Rob, grinning.

"See, we've got a connection already, Archie. Me saying something, and you repeating it. It's like we're made for each other," Wrench said, moving closer to her.

"Repeat this, Socket Wrench: fuck off!"

While this had been happening, Lyle had slipped away to the kitchen. Putting some ice in a towel, he pressed it to his eye gingerly.

"For someone so smart, you're pretty stupid, Lyle," Stella said from behind him.

"Because of the royalties thing?" Lyle asked, turning to look at her.

"No, because of the Darcy Hill thing. She liked you in college, and you broke her heart. I'd be careful if I were you," Stella warned, heading back to Charlie.

Lyle didn't stick around to hear about their latest job. If Darcy was involved, he wasn't sure if he wanted to be part of it. Especially after what Stella had said.

...

(a/n: Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!)


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I don't own The Italian Job, or anything associated with it. I do own Darcy Hill though!

**Summary:** After getting their friend completely smashed after a break-up, Rob and Left Ear find out exactly what Lyle wants in a woman. Handsome Rob, being the friend that he is, tries to get her for Lyle. But after many mistakes, fun and scares, Lyle may just find the right woman all by himself.

...

_Chapter Five_

...

Lyle didn't answer his phone, ignored his emails and pretended that he couldn't hear Charlie, Handsome Rob and Left Ear at the door.

"Come on, Lyle. Open the door," Charlie coaxed.

"We know you're there, mate! Open the bloody door already!" Rob said, banging on the door again.

"He's not going to answer. Come on, let's go get something to eat," Left Ear muttered.

"What do you want?" Lyle asked, opening his door as far as the small chain allowed it to go.

"We want to come inside," Handsome Rob said, glaring down at him.

Lyle shut the door and considered not letting them in. He sighed heavily and undid the chain, opening the door.

"Finally. You got any beer?" Archie asked, pushing past the three guys.

"What are you doing here?!" Lyle asked, staring at her.

"We're all here," Wrench said, clapping Lyle on the shoulder as he followed Archie into the kitchen.

"Get the fuck away from my beer, Socket Wrench!" Archie growled a moment later.

Wrench came out of the kitchen, rubbing his wrist.

"Nice selection of non-edible food. I'm particularly fond of mouldy cheese," Archie drawled sarcastically, sitting on Lyle's lounge.

She saw the framed _Wired_ cover with Lyle's face and laughed, taking a long swig of her beer.

"Don't look so surprised that we're here, mate. We need your input on the job," Handsome Rob said, grinning.

"You've never heard of cleaning, have you?" Left Ear asked, looking at the clothes on the floor.

"Come on guys, let's just discuss the job," Charlie said, sighing.

"And maybe open a window for the smell," Stella muttered.

"No deodorant even? At least get a maid, or something!" Left Ear called from the bathroom.

"Fuck, look at the size of those speakers!" Wrench said, letting out a low whistle.

"Don't touch them!" Lyle yelled.

The last thing he wanted was to see the guys naked.

"All right, calm down Nappy," Wrench said, putting his hands up quickly and backing away from the stereo.

"Breathe, Lyle. You're going to pass out again," Archie said from the lounge, looking at the speakers with an odd expression on her face.

He took in a deep breath, and looked around, making sure that everyone was where they were supposed to be. "Where's Handsome Rob?" he asked, not seeing him.

"He was heading that way last I saw," Left Ear said, indicating behind Lyle.

Lyle turned and hurried down the corridor. He hoped and prayed that Rob hadn't gone into his room. Which, since he wasn't in the corridor, was the only possibility since it was the only room this way. He opened the door quickly and looked in. Rob wasn't there. Lyle sighed in relief, and closed the door again.

"What was that glow?" Left Ear asked, coming up behind him.

"My computers," Lyle said. "Rob's not in there."

"Where's the rest of your beer, Lyle? Why are you standing down here?" Rob asked, walking down the corridor.

"Left Ear said you were in here, and I was just checking. I don't have any more beer if it's all gone," Lyle said, shrugging.

He frowned for a moment. _He'd had an entire six-pack in the fridge the night before, and if he remembered correctly, Darcy didn't drink alcohol_.

"Darcy," he growled, heading back into the lounge room. "What are you doing, drinking?" Lyle demanded, glaring at Darcy. "And where's the rest of my beer?"

"Took you long enough," Darcy drawled, rolling her eyes.

She handed him back the bottle she'd been supposedly drinking from. The lid was still on tightly. In a few minutes, the rest of the bottles were in his hands as well.

"Why'd you take it if you're not going to drink it?" Charlie asked.

"Same reason I do anything: because I can," Darcy replied. "Same reason for this job, actually," she added with a laugh.

Lyle handed out the rest of the beers and sat down on the lounge, holding Darcy's original bottle for himself. "What's the job?" he asked with a heavy sigh.

"A bank account. Safe deposit box as well," Charlie replied.

"Any security?" Lyle asked.

"Not a lot. A smoke bomb would confuse them long enough to get in."

"Where is it?"

"There's three possibilities at the moment. I'm still looking into it," Charlie said.

"Do I want to know who's account and deposit box we're taking?" Lyle asked, taking a long swig of the beer.

He didn't like the smug grin Darcy gave him. "Shawn Fanning."

...

Lyle opened and closed his mouth for about ten minutes straight before Handsome Rob got sick of his fish impersonation and whacked him on the back.

"Breathe, Lyle," he muttered.

"Repeat that?" Lyle asked, staring at Darcy in shock.

"We're stealing every single cent from the bank account of Shawn Fanning, plus what's in his safe deposit box," Archie replied slowly, the smug grin still on her face.

"But... Why?" Lyle asked, still shocked.

"Because I can," Darcy replied, shrugging and leaning back on the sofa.

"I thought you'd be all for this one, _Napster_," Charlie said, his tone almost mocking.

"You don't think I've tried to hack into his account before and get the money that's rightfully mine?!" Lyle exploded, still looking directly at Darcy.

"You were going for his account with the Bank of America, right?" Darcy asked, unfazed by his reaction.

"Of course."

She grinned at him, putting her arms behind her head as she relaxed. "So you don't know that his account there is just a decoy?"

The way Lyle's jaw dropped showed that he didn't know.

"Yeah, that's right. Go check all your information on him. It will still all say that he only has that one account," Darcy said.

"How? A decoy, really?" Lyle asked in shock, running a hand through his hair as he turned, trying to find a laptop or computer of some sort to offer him a sense of security. Not seeing one, he dropped back onto the lounge and waited for Darcy to continue.

"He has an account with them so people won't start asking questions about where he's actually keeping his money. But he doesn't have much in there - the fees are ridiculous, apparently - as the majority of his money's in one of the Wainwright Bank branches under his mother's late great-grandmother's maiden name."

Lyle was still in shock about it almost an hour later, wondering how on earth he'd never known this. Probably because, despite all his raving about being the real Napster, Lyle had never really looked too deeply into Shawn Fanning's life.

Jealousy, perhaps some hatred, and the fear of finding out how much Fanning really was worth - _how much __**he**__ could have been worth_ - kept Lyle from discovering any more than which bank he used, and then complete a very poor attempt to hack into it.

"His beer's going to go warm if he doesn't drink it soon," Rob muttered, then figuring he was doing Lyle a favour, reached over and pulled the bottle out of Lyle's grasp.

Rob looked over at Archie as he drank the remaining beer - _room temperature, not too bad_, he thought - and saw Stella talking to Archie in a low voice, their eyes flicking to Lyle's stunned form every so often. Rob knew more than enough about women, and he knew that when there was two or more women standing together talking, they were either going on about some ridiculously ugly and overpriced cosmetic product - _something he doubted either Archie or Stella would willingly talk about_ - or, more often than not, they were plotting something against men and mankind.

Shaking his head, and with a final look at the two women, Rob turned his attention back to his friend. He waved a hand in front of Lyle's face, but it didn't have an effect on him, and with a grin, Rob finished the rest of the warm beer.

...

End of the fifth chapter!

Hope you enjoyed reading.

...


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Italian Job, or any characters. I only own Darcy "Archie" Hill.

(a/n: _thanks for reviewing!_

_Hope you enjoy the chapter... Read on, oh faithful ones_!)

...

_Chapter Six_

...

"All right, tell me again how we're going to do this. I mean, robbing a bank is just barbaric compared to what we've done before," Lyle muttered.

"We're not robbing the entire bank, just one person who uses the bank," Darcy said, rolling her eyes. "And that's a hell of a lot more sophisticated than just going in with guns blazing or whatever you're thinking."

"We want to get in and get out without being seen," Charlie said, standing as he looked at everyone. "So that means no sleeping gas unless it's absolutely necessary," he added with an apologetic smile to Left Ear. "We just want to look like any other member of the bank, and get the contents of the safety deposit box. The money in his account will be taken using a wire transfer to a fake bank account that Darcy will set up. Stella and Lyle will be the main ones going in. The rest of us will be there for backup. Handsome Rob will be in a car outside, just in case something does go wrong and we need a fast escape car. If we need it, Left Ear will also be with me in the bank with sleeping gas cylinders. I'll distract the guards watching the cameras. Any questions?"

"Yeah. Why do I have to be the one who goes in with Stella?" Lyle asked, frowning. "Why can't you go in with her?"

"Because you're the only one who'll be able to answer the fake Napster's three personal questions without it sounding rehearsed. And besides, you're the easiest to make look like him," Charlie said, grinning. "Stella's needed to get into the safety deposit box since you don't have the combination."

"I'll make sure they don't hurt you, don't worry," Stella said to Lyle with a grin.

He gave her a sarcastic smile and turned away in a huff.

"How's the bike going?" Handsome Rob asked with a grin, wanting to rub salt in the wounds.

"Oh, fuck off," Lyle muttered.

...

"So, what do you think?" Charlie asked Lyle quietly as they sat on the apartment block's roof, each nursing a beer.

"Of the job or Darcy?" Lyle asked sarcastically, taking a swig of his drink.

"Both," Charlie replied, grinning as he drank his own.

"I'd be happier if ze job was already over and done wiz, and we get ze prettee cash load at ze end," Lyle said, mimicking a French accent with a smirk. "And Darcy? Well, she's just the same as always," he said with a small sigh.

"Stella thinks you have a crush on her," Charlie replied, watching his friend intently.

"Of course I don't! She's your wife!" Lyle said, shaking his head.

"That's not what I meant, Lyle, and you know it," he muttered, drinking again.

"You can't prove that," he replied, but didn't look at him and turned to watch the city moving below. "Go on, get home to your wife before she starts thinking we're having an affair," Lyle said with a fleeting grin.

"She wouldn't worry about that; you're not my type," Charlie said, ruffling his hair and ignoring Lyle's resulting glare. "Basketball game later?"

"Yeah, sure. See you there at ten," Lyle said with a nod.

"Make it eleven, you know Handsome won't get out of bed before ten if he hasn't had sex," Charlie said, grinning.

"How do you know he hasn't?" Lyle asked, laughing as he and Charlie left the rooftop.

...

Archie was covered in pen and ink marks, but seemed oblivious to both even as she hunted through the desk for a pen. There were two in her hair, one behind her ear, and even one had fallen into her lap, but she'd worked herself into such a state that she didn't realise any of it.

"I'm going to use my own freaking blood if I can't find a bloody pen in a minute!" she growled under her breath.

"Still talking to yourself, Darcy?" Lyle asked with a grin as he came into the warehouse, an apple in one hand and a coffee in the other.

"Of course; it's the only good conversation I get these days," she shot back, not looking at him.

"What are you on the expedition for?" Lyle asked, biting into the apple with a crunch as he walked over.

"Gimme the apple and I'll tell you," Archie replied, her hand already taking it from his grasp.

Lyle rolled his eyes but let her keep the apple. He had a feeling she hadn't slept all night, and probably hadn't had anything more than a bottle of water.

"Looking for a pen," Darcy muttered, taking a bite of the apple. She glared when Lyle chuckled. "What are you laughing at?" she growled.

He just shook his head, reached over and pulled one of the pens out from the bun in her messy hair.

Darcy hated how she flinched when he moved closer, her heart raced in anticipation, and her lips went dry. Ignoring her body's reaction - _it was just because he was so close after she hadn't slept for nineteen hours, that was all, really_ - she took the offered pen with a muttered 'thanks' and turned back to the desk.

"Don't forget to eat," Lyle called as he went to the other desk and set up his own laptop, sipping on his coffee.

His coffee was in a thermos that had a screw lid; after buying his bike, most of his coffees had ended up on the floor in one form or another. The thermos kept the coffee inside the cup, even after it dropped on the floor a few times, and he was more than grateful to it for the caffeine that was now running through his veins.

"Still drinking that shit?" Darcy asked, her distaste evident in her voice.

"Isn't the answer to that obvious?" Lyle asked.

"You could have changed your evil ways and it could be tea," she replied, sounding far too happy and cheerful for him.

"What are you on, your second wind of energy?" he muttered half-heartedly as he typed in a password.

"Third actually, it's just kicking in. Why don't you drink tea?" Darcy asked.

"It's a girl's drink," Lyle said, typing in the third of his six passwords just to enter the desktop. There were another three to access the internet, and then there was also an automatic alert that he had set up if a site was accessed that was outside of his norm.

"Yeah, and you're so masculine," Archie replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes at her screen.

"Shut up Darcy... Shouldn't have brought you the apple," he muttered, rubbing his face briefly before typing his last lot of passwords in. The algorithm connected the six passwords and let him onto the desktop.

"Only six passwords? You're getting soft, Lylester," Archie called with a laugh.

"And you're getting hysterical. Get some sleep or I'll steal your laptop," Lyle replied.

"Like you could," she scoffed, but started to yawn. "Aww... I was going for four energy winds," Darcy muttered in disappointment. "Get me some more apples?" she asked, shutting her laptop and putting her head on it.

"I'm not your slave," Lyle muttered, adjusting his cap as he searched for recent pictures of Shawn Fanning. "I have to go bald?!"

Darcy just laughed at his expression before bringing her knees up to her chest and finally, sleeping.

...

"I don't like this job anymore," Lyle announced as he tried to get the ball off Charlie.

"Archie said you saw pictures of Napster," Charlie replied, grinning at him before jumping up for a three-point shot.

Left Ear caught the ball off the rim and tried to keep it away from Rob.

"What's so bad about that?" Rob asked, swiping the ball from Left Ear.

"He's bald," Lyle said, pouting as he tried to stop Charlie from getting the ball from Rob.

"He's not bald-bald," Charlie said, rolling his eyes. "He's a number four shave, possibly even five. It's not like you'd have to go bald to the scalp, Lyle," he added.

"Thank Christ for that; he'd look like a bald rat then," Rob said to Left Ear, grinning.

Left Ear shook his head and took the ball back, dribbling a couple of times before taking the three-point shot. Grinning when he got the ball through the hoop, he turned to high-five Lyle. Lyle hadn't seen him get the shot in, and by the look on his face, Left Ear doubted that he'd care even if he had seen it. Lyle folded his arms and glared at Charlie.

"I'm not doing it. I refuse to go bald! I **refuse** to do it," Lyle said, storming off the court.

"Oh, come back Lyle! We can't play two on one, that's not fair!" Charlie called, trying to keep from laughing.

"Not like we haven't been playing like that for the most of the game. That boy can't play for shit," Left Ear muttered.

"I heard that!" Lyle yelled.

Left Ear and Charlie just laughed while Rob shook his head and took the shot.

...

End of the sixth chapter. Hope you enjoyed it!

...


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I don't own The Italian Job.

_Thank you to those who read this story. I hope you enjoy it._

...

_Chapter Seven_

...

"Ready, Lyle?" Charlie asked, a hand on his shoulder.

"Of course not. Just do it already," Lyle said, his eyes screwed shut tightly.

Everyone was crowded around him, the mirror in front of Lyle showing their grinning reflections. He refused to open his eyes until it was done.

The electric razor started humming loudly and Lyle gripped the arms of his chair hard. The razor got closer and closer to his head and Lyle bit his tongue so he wouldn't whimper. _It was just hair, it would grow back_, he told himself. He'd had the same hair style since before college, and he liked that it was a constant in his life. Everything could go wrong, and his hair would still be the same. A little singed, maybe, if he got too close to Left Ear when things went wrong, but it was still there. Now it was all being chopped off.

"You can open your eyes now, it's done," Darcy said, grinning at the expression on Lyle's face.

Lyle opened his eyes slowly, warily, and took a deep breath as he surveyed the damage.

"Oh come on, mate. It doesn't look bad," Rob said, running a hand over his own head with a grin.

"Yeah. It'll grow back," Left Ear said, laughter in his tone.

Darcy elbowed him in the ribs, glaring. "You're making it sound like I did a bad job," she said, put out.

Left Ear just grinned.

Lyle was all but oblivious to their words, still staring at his reflection. He looked ... different. He wasn't sure if he looked older or younger, or if it was just that he could see more of his scalp than normal. He didn't overly like it, but Lyle was surprised to find that he didn't hate it as much as he thought he would.

"So, Lyle, what do you think?" Stella asked, smiling at him gently.

"How come Stella gets to call you Lyle?" Charlie muttered, rolling his eyes.

Lyle glared at Charlie for a moment before turning and answering Stella, "It's not bad. I'll still be happier when it's grown back though," he added, attempting a grin.

"No one happens to have a broom on them, do they?" Darcy asked, looking at the hair covering the floor.

"That probably would have been a good idea," Wrench said with a smirk.

"I'm glad you agree, Wrench. You can go buy it since you care so much," she said, laughing at his soured expression.

...

"All right, do you want to go over this again?" Charlie asked.

"No, I don't. I've been over it a hundred times already. I know what I have to do," Lyle said, his eyes closed.

"Stop talking. Charlie, you can go over it when we've finished," Darcy muttered, applying more make up to Lyle's face.

Stella smiled and nodded for Charlie to let them be. She brushed more dye over Lyle's head to cover the red.

Charlie sighed and left them to finish changing Lyle into Napster.

...

"Can't believe we're actually going through with this without one explosive device," Left Ear muttered.

"Well, you still get to use sleeping gas if things go sour," Rob said, his concentration barely leaving the road as he sped through the traffic.

A sign welcoming them to Watertown was barely visible as they went past.

"That's not the point. Sleeping gas is so... _childish_. It's like using sparklers instead of fireworks. There's no thrill in it," Left Ear said, gripping the door handle when Rob swerved suddenly.

"Stop your whining, Left Ear," Rob said, spinning the car around to park in an available space.

Left Ear, who had shut his eyes when he realised what Rob was going to do, still had a death grip on the handle and seemed to be praying.

Rob chuckled and got out of the car calmly. Walking across to the Wainwright bank, he entered the building to open an account.

The first part of their plan was taking effect.

...

End of the seventh chapter.

...


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I don't own The Italian Job, or anything associated with it.

_Thank you to those who read this. I hope you enjoy it_.

...

_Chapter Eight_

...

A week later, Lyle was almost used to his new face. Stella and Darcy had changed his face with a putty mask, making him look more like Shawn Fanning. It wasn't an exact likeness, but it was close enough so that he could be mistaken for Napster if someone didn't really know what he looked like. If no one at the bank looked at him too closely, he should be able to get in and out without a problem.

"I still think you look creepy, Nappy boy," Wrench said, grinning at him.

"Still look better than you, Socket Wrench," he replied with a glare.

Wrench kept grinning and ran his hand over Lyle's shaved head, knowing how much it pissed him off.

"Stop taunting Lyle, Wrench," Stella said as she walked inside.

Lyle gave him a smug look.

"And Lyle, stop letting him piss you off so easily," Darcy added with a smirk as she followed Stella into the kitchen.

Lyle's smug expression faded and he glowered at Darcy.

"If you keep glaring at me like that, you're not getting dinner," she called over her shoulder.

Grinning, Lyle hurried into the kitchen. "What are you making?"

"It's a surprise," Stella said, ushering him out of the small area.

The door slammed in his face.

...

"What's wrong?" Charlie asked, seeing the sour expression on both Lyle and Wrench's faces.

"They're cooking, and they won't tell us what it is," Lyle said, Wrench agreeing with a nod.

"What's your point?" he asked, slightly frustrated by their attitudes.

"We're hungry, man," Wrench replied.

"Then go out and get food! I really didn't think it would be that hard to do," he muttered, shaking his head.

"Rob and Left Ear still haven't come back with the car, and I'm not allowed to leave the garage, am I?" Lyle replied, glaring.

"What about you? What's your excuse?" Charlie asked, looking at Wrench.

"Like I'm leaving alone Nappy Boy with those two hotties," Wrench said with a smirk. His smirk faltered when he saw the look Charlie was giving him for talking about his wife like that. "Actually, I think I'll go get something after all," he muttered, leaving quickly.

"Bring me back something, Wrench!" Lyle called out of the door. "And don't break my bike!"

Charlie shook his head and rubbed his eyes tiredly. The Italian job must have spoiled him, because he didn't feel as confident about this job as he had when he was the one in charge of everything...

...

"Come on, Charlie. We've gone over this a hundred bloody times. We know what we're doing," Rob muttered, rolling his eyes when Charlie announced that he wanted to go over the plan yet again.

"Yeah, and there can still be outside factors that screw everything up. So we're going to go through this again," Charlie said, looking at each of them in turn.

They nodded reluctantly, each remembering what had happened the last time there had been "outside factors".

"All right, fine. We'll go over it again," Rob muttered, standing up.

"Dinner's ready, so you can go over it later," Stella said walking over to the table. She seemed concerned at the expression on Charlie's face, but gave him a kiss and a look that obviously said he would be explaining himself later.

"Where's Wrench?" Darcy asked, carrying a large casserole dish over and setting it on the table.

"Right here, babe," Wrench said, smirking at her as he came into the garage.

"What is that?" Darcy asked, glaring at the plastic bag in his hand.

"Umm," Wrench faltered, stepping back. "Dessert?"

"You were planning on fried chicken for dessert then, were you?" she asked, her arms crossed.

"Yes?"

"Put the bag in the kitchen, Wrench, and get back out here so we can all eat dinner," Stella said, pushing him towards the door.

He hurried to do as she said, and Lyle couldn't help but feel smug when Archie glared at Wrench when he came back in.

...

"All right everyone, you know what to do. Make sure you do it right, and remember: the first sign of trouble, and you get out," Charlie said sternly.

He ignored the fact that they all mimicked his reminder.

Shaking his head and clapping Charlie on the back, Rob left with Left Ear to make a deposit in his account.

Lyle left with Darcy, and Stella looked to Charlie, giving him a smile.

"It'll be fine, Charlie. They know what to do. You've covered every single thing that could go wrong," she reassured him.

He attempted to smile, but it didn't quite come out right. "You know what 'fine' stands for, don't you?"

Stella laughed, kissing him. "Come on, you don't want to miss all the action, do you?"

Charlie took her hand and followed her out to the Mini. Stella was right. The'd covered every single contingency, and it would be ... fine.

...

Lyle waited in the line, trying to keep his nerves under control. He was sure his hands hadn't been this clammy before, and he just knew his voice was going to be an octave higher, and they'd be discovered instantly.

"Next," the teller called.

Lyle moved forward as Rob went forward with his wallet. Left Ear was closer to the end of the line, waiting with the smoke bombs as a precaution. Charlie and Stella were sitting with a bank employee, inquiring about starting an account together. Darcy was sitting at a cafe a few buildings down, her laptop showing the security cameras. Lyle had headphones on, pretending to be listening to music but if Darcy saw something wrong then she'd be able to alert him, and they'd all be out of there under the cover of smoke.

"Calm down, Lyle. You're going to drown everyone in sweat," Darcy's voice muttered in his ear.

He looked up at the closest camera and glared briefly. She ignored his look and continued to talk to him.

The line shortened, and by the time Lyle was at the start of it, Darcy had calmed him enough that he felt confident enough to get through this.

Just as Lyle was being called on, the bank doors flew open, four masked people walking in with guns.

"Everyone get down on the ground! Now!"

Charlie and Stella looked at each other as they slowly moved to the ground. This was the only thing they **hadn't** covered.

...

End of the eighth chapter.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it!

...


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** I don't own The Italian Job, or anything associated.

_Thank you to those who read this. I hope you enjoy it_.

...

Chapter Nine

...

They hurried to do as the gunman said, watching carefully as his nerves had his finger going to the trigger too many times.

Charlie tried to think of something, anything to do. He was of two minds: they could use this to their advantage, complete the job, and get out, or they could stay down and just try to survive the trigger-happy gunman.

Left Ear got Charlie's attention, his hand slowly moving into his shoulder bag. Charlie shook his head slowly, trying not to gain the gunman's attention.

Unfortunately, it did, and the man walked over, his finger returning to the gun's trigger. "What are you doing? Trying to escape already?"

"Not at all. I was just looking at the security cameras," Charlie replied smoothly, looking up at the ringleader.

The man turned, seeing the cameras' red lights blinking at him, and his eyes widened as if he'd never seen them before. Within seconds, the four cameras were shot out.

"Shit! Don't let him see the other cameras behind the counter, or I'll lose all visual," Darcy hissed. "Lyle, can you hear me? Nod if you can hear me... Oh, for fuck's sakes, put your earpiece back in, you idiot!" She went quiet when she realised that people were staring at her. "I'm practicing for a play..." Darcy explained sheepishly, turning away quickly.

"You might want to get the staff out from behind the counter. They've got emergency buttons that feed directly to the police," Charlie said in a conversational tone as he looked back down to the ground.

"How's he know all this shit?" one of the robbers asked.

"Shut up. Get them all out, now!"

There was some screaming from the tellers as they were made to leave their counters at gunpoint. The robbers continued to go through tills, taking the money.

As Darcy completed her side of the job, she kept an eye on the security feed. She watched as Lyle started to creep his way towards the room that held the safety deposit boxes. _He was going to get himself killed_. Sighing, Darcy changed the last remaining camera feed to loop over, so Lyle's actions wouldn't be seen when the police went over the video. When that was done, and she'd double checked the feed (_she'd seen _Speed_, and knew how the smallest thing could screw everything up_), Darcy finished her job and went into the cafe. Moments later, she was back outside and heading down towards the bank, carefully opening a few packets of ketchup.

...

There was a startled gasp as the doors opened, and the thieves looked over to see a woman entering the bank.

She was dragged inside and the doors were locked behind her.

"I ... I don't have any cash on me, I was coming inside to get it out of my account," the woman said, trembling when she saw their guns. "Please, don't kill me."

Lyle didn't know whether he wanted to yell at Darcy or hug her for coming in. These guys were amateurs, nervous as hell, and far too trigger-happy for his liking. _If she got herself killed_... He didn't let himself finish that thought.

"Get on the floor with the others."

Darcy was practically thrown to the floor, and she cried out in pain when her head hit the hard tiles. Blood stained the ground around her, people screaming when they saw that she wasn't moving.

"I thought we weren't meant to hurt anyone, man. This isn't what I signed up for," one of the robbers hissed, making his way over.

The others soon followed, an argument breaking out between them.

Hoping that she was faking the injury, Lyle silently headed to the safety deposit room while they were all preoccupied.

Blue and red lights began to flash from outside of the bank, and the argument became louder, with the four men pointing their guns at each other.

Handsome Rob saw where Lyle had gone and slinked in after him, unnoticed by the gunmen.

"Found it, mate?" Rob hissed.

Lyle jumped in surprise. "Don't sneak up on me like that. Yeah, it's here," he replied, indicating to the box in front of him.

"Right, I'll get a few more out," Rob said, going past him, taking a screwdriver and a piece of paper from his pocket.

The paper had a series of numbers that didn't seem to be in any sort of order to someone who didn't know what it was about. For Rob and the others, the list showed the numbers of the deposit boxes with the most valuable contents in the bank.

Lyle placed the security deposit box in the backpack he'd been carrying, fitting in another two that Rob passed him. Rob put the remaining ones in his own bag. He looked out into the bank, and saw that one of the thieves was heading outside, his hands raised.

"What a bunch of pansies. Come on, help me take these out to Left Ear," Rob muttered to Lyle.

He nodded, taking an armful of the boxes. The employees and customers of the bank were all too preoccupied with the men holding guns to notice Lyle and Rob returning to the main area, their movements slow and quiet.

Glancing around as he returned to his position on the floor, Rob spotted a bag of money that one of the robbers had left by the employees entrance. Shaking his head, he slid backwards slowly, hooking the bag around his foot. He slid the bag up to his body, and knew that when he left, it would look just like a normal backpack.

_Too bloody easy_.

Lyle looked over to where Darcy was, sighing in relief when he saw her moving slightly on the ground.

Within ten minutes of the police arriving, the four attempted robbers had given themselves up. The hostages rushed outside towards the police, most panicked and screaming, and those that weren't, were soon scared by the ambulance and police sirens. There was enough noise and confusion that quite a few people were able to get away without being questioned by the police.

Adjusting the backpack on his shoulders, Lyle headed in one direction. Handsome Rob and Left Ear went in another, while Charlie and Stella simply pretended that they weren't part of it at all, and left quickly. Putting her baseball cap back on to hide the "blood", Darcy slipped away while the officials were busy with hysterical hostages. In a car across the road, Wrench drove out of the parking lot, trying to look as innocent as he possibly could.

...

"I still can't believe you were offering them advice!"

"Well, it seemed like they needed the help," Charlie said, grinning at Stella's incredulous look.

"You're lucky they didn't shoot you," she muttered with a slight glare.

Charlie looked slightly abashed, but didn't reply.

"There you are, Nappy boy! Did you end up getting what we wanted?" Wrench asked as Lyle came into the warehouse with Darcy beside him.

Lyle's grin was answer enough, and he held up the backpack that contained three safety deposit boxes.

"Managed to get some more too," Rob said as he came in with Left Ear, both of them grinning.

"Just how much more?" Darcy and Charlie asked at the same time.

Rob smirked and dropped the bag of money on the floor. "A whole lot more. They might have been a bunch of pansies, but at least they knew which bills were the bigger ones," he said with a chuckle.

Looking at each other, they all hurried to look in the bag. Charlie opened it, nearly everyone holding their breath in anticipation.

"They're 100 dollar bills!"

"From the weight, I'd say there's more than ten thousand in there. Not our biggest catch, of course, but I didn't think anyone would refuse a bit of extra cash," Rob said, grinning.

"Nice thinking, Handsome Rob," Charlie said, grinning back up at him.

"I don't know about you lot, but I want to know what's in that damned safety deposit box," Wrench said, leaning on Darcy's shoulder.

Rolling her eyes at him, she shook her head. "Safety deposit box is mine; that was part of the deal," Darcy said, pushing his arm off of her.

"Seriously? All of that work, and we don't get to see what's in it?" Lyle asked, feeling indignant.

"Seriously," Charlie said with a nod. "It was the only condition Archie requested."

Frowning slightly, Lyle offered the bag to Darcy. She took it with a nod, removed the appropriate box, and gave it back.

"Call me when you've got a buyer for the stuff so I can get my cut."

"You're leaving?" Lyle asked in surprise.

"Of course, I've got what I came for."

There were a few awkward glances and some glares, but Stella managed to clear the warehouse in moments, leaving Lyle and Darcy alone. Lyle didn't know what to say to her. He wanted to tell her to stay, that he'd missed her, that he was sorry he'd been such an idiot in college, all of it, anything to make her stay.

"Do you know where you're going?"

"Not yet. I'll know when I get there," she replied, grinning.

"How ... " Lyle stopped; if Wrench ever heard his next words, he'd never live it down. "How do you know you're not ... you know, already where you need to be?"

Darcy looked at him for a moment, a slight frown on her face. "Are you asking me to stay, Lyle?"

"I ... I think so, yeah."

"Please, don't kill yourself with enthusiasm," she said, shaking her head.

There was a sinking feeling in the pit of Lyle's stomach as she walked to him, a serious expression on her face.

"Look, I'm not going to stay because you think you want me to. And even if you knew that you wanted me to stay, I'm not sure I would. You hurt me in college, Lyle, and while I've gotten over that, I promised myself I'd never let it happen again. With you or anyone else. I'm not going to settle down and get married to live in a white-picket suburbia, okay? Even if there was high speed internet connection on offer," she added with a grin. "You have to work out what **you** want; you'll never get anything if you just **think** you want it, 'cause you'll lose it the next time you change your mind."

Darcy kissed his cheek gently, leaving Lyle stunned and staring after her as she left the warehouse.

The door closed with a loud scraping sound, and moments later everyone had filtered back inside. It was obvious by the looks on their faces that they'd heard every word.

"Are you just going to let her go, then?" Stella asked.

Lyle nodded. "I'm not going to make her stay when she doesn't to."

"Did she say that?" Stella asked pointedly.

"Nope, she told Nappy-boy to make up his mind," Wrench supplied helpfully. "You know, for someone who's supposed to be such a genius, you're an idiot, Nappy. Must be the small packaging," he added, his arm resting on Lyle's head.

Lyle shoved him away and ran out of the warehouse, after Darcy.

"Thought he'd never leave," Rob muttered, shaking his head.

...

_A few streets away_...

"Here; I've got exactly what you wanted."

"Took you long enough, Archie. You said you'd have it within a week; it's almost been three."

"Couldn't help it, my supplier took longer than expected. Look, if you're not interested anymore, I can take my business elsewhere," Darcy said, standing to leave.

"No," he said, too quickly, and immediately knew he'd ruined himself by betraying his emotions. "No, it's fine. It's just really hard to get a delay on these sort of things." He coughed and tried to think of a way to redeem himself. "You're sure it's in there?"

"I already opened it and checked. It's in there, and it's the real thing."

Opening the lid of the safety deposit box, Stella removed the lone item and held it in front of the man's face. His eyes widened slightly when he saw the green disc.

"On here is all the evidence you need to prove Shawn Fanning's deception."

...

End of the ninth chapter.

Thanks for reading. I hope you liked it!

...


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** I don't own The Italian Job or anything associated with it.

...

Chapter Ten

...

"Don't look so sour, Lyle. It's been a whole week. You've looked everywhere for her," Rob said, attempting to cheer him up.

"It's not like she could have just disappeared off the face of the earth. 'Sides, she has to come back for her share," Left Ear added.

"Charlie's doing a wire transfer for her, actually," Lyle replied, looking down into his glass as if it could tell him where Darcy had disappeared to.

"Ah... Well, chin up, Lyle, you might get lucky with one of the fine ladies here tonight," Rob said, his head turning to follow one of the said women. He grinned at her, standing when her eyes lingered on him. "Enjoy your night, boys. I've got work to do," he said, throwing a note next to his glass.

"How does he do that?" Left Ear asked, shaking his head.

Lyle laughed under his breath; he'd said those very same words the last time he'd seen Handsome Rob at work. It was a small comfort to know that he wasn't the only one mystified by Rob's unnatural ability with women.

"You all right?" Left Ear asked warily, hoping that Lyle's laughter wasn't a warning sign that he was about to throw up.

"Yeah. Fine. I've got things to do. Catch you later," he said, adding his own money to the table before leaving the bar.

Left Ear looked after his friend, and after paying for his own drink, left soon after.

...

Lyle opened his laptop, and within a few minutes, he had disabled the tap he'd put onto his ex-ex-ex-girlfriend's phone.

Another five minutes had him scouring the L.A. Automated Traffic Surveillance and Control Operations Center. After the last job, they'd immediately upgraded their security to keep hackers out, but Lyle had known they'd do something like that, and left a backdoor for himself. A small algorithm (but no less kick ass), that no one would notice in a hundred years.

It only took a few clicks to find the exact day and time he wanted; he'd already looked at it before, and knew exactly how to find it. A picture of Darcy Hill appeared on the screen, slightly blurred from the feed, but it was the last known shot he'd found of her in the security feeds. She'd gone into a building, and had never come back out.

It was only when Lyle went to the physical building himself that he found there were no cameras in the parking area, and the ones leading from the underground parking to the closest traffic light had been out for repair that very day. He had to wonder if Darcy had known about it, or if she'd organised the 'repair' job herself.

There were hundreds of cars that went along those streets every day, and it was taking him longer than he would have liked to find an unknown car that could possibly have Darcy within it.

Suddenly, a red warning flashed on his screen. Lyle hurried to check his power cord, but saw that it was connected and his laptop was fully charged. Then he read the warning itself, and a hurried click and save was all he had time for before he was kicked out of the L.A. Automated Traffic Surveillance and Control Center.

Someone had found his algorithm.

...

"There, all clean. Everything that should be there is there, and everything that shouldn't be there, isn't."

"Thank you, Darcy. It's a relief to know that it won't happen again."

"Oh, it probably will happen again. Some people have too much time on their hands and think they have something to prove. However, I can check your system every few months if you'd like. Not even the _real Napster's_ as smart as me," Darcy said, grinning.

"And just how do you know that?" the manager asked, somewhat annoyed that her solution wasn't a permanent fix.

"Because I went to college with him," she replied, ignoring his surprised and wary expression. "I'll be sending my bill, and if I'm not paid by the specified time, I'll undo everything I've done."

By the time the man registered her words properly, Darcy was already in the elevator and heading down to the lobby.

...

Lyle stared. There was no other word for it, and even if there was, he was too shocked to think of it. The magazine stand in front of him was filled with news about Shawn Fanning and how he'd stolen the idea for _Napster_.

He paid for the magazine and somehow made his way back to his apartment without walking into anyone.

There were messages on his answering machine from his friends, and despite keeping his number silent, he also had messages from a few journalists and talk-show hosts. He sure hadn't had this sort of attention with _Wired_.

Still shocked and unable to talk, Lyle sank down into his seat and opened the magazine to read the article.

...

The next few days passed as a blur. Lyle answered some of the messages, rejected others, and spent most of his time replying to the emails he was suddenly overwhelmed with. By the time he realised he hadn't eaten and ventured out for food, people were actually recognising him on the street.

He couldn't believe how nervous he was with all of the attention he was receiving. He could probably go to a bar and have his pick of any female inside, but the thought wasn't as pleasing as it might have been once.

Lyle smiled, nodded, and hurried his way out of the Thai takeaway store. It was close to his apartment, and that meant the least amount of interaction as possible.

_And he'd been jealous of Fanning as the media darling_, he thought to himself with an inward scoff.

Fumbling for his keys while trying not to drop his food, Lyle used the light to find the right key. Then he realised there shouldn't have been a light. He'd closed and locked his door behind him, using the usual key and number pad combination. No one should have been able to crack that.

_Well, maybe __**one **__person could_...

With that hopeful thought in mind, Lyle stepped into his apartment, and wasn't too surprised to see Darcy sitting on his armchair.

"Hello, Lyle."

"What are you doing in my apartment, Darcy?" Lyle asked. He didn't bother to ask how she got past his security system.

"I see you liked the article," she said, nodding towards the newly-framed article about Shawn Fanning's deception.

"You set that up?"

"Of course I did. Did you think the magical _Napster_ fairies did it?"

"No; everyone knows they're elves," he replied, rolling his eyes at her.

Darcy just laughed and stood up, moving to him. "Hope you bought enough for two; I'm starving," she said, taking the bag from his hands. "Aw, they gave you an extra meal for free. What's that on the note? Something about keeping your mind strong?" she muttered, taking the extra container out of the bag. "Where are your chopsticks?"

Before he really knew how it happened, Lyle was sitting with Darcy in his lounge room, both of them eating Thai together as if it was completely normal.

...

"I brought you a present," Darcy said an hour or so after they'd finished eating. The empty containers were sitting on the coffee table, and they had just been talking since then.

"What sort of present?" Lyle asked with a frown.

"Open it and see," Darcy said, sliding a small square box across the coffee table.

Still frowning, Lyle picked up the box and opened it warily. After everything that had happened, he wasn't sure what to expect.

His eyes widened slightly as he recognised what was inside it. A green floppy disc was sitting in the box, looking as pretty and battered as the day it had been stolen.

"I told you I'd get the disc back, Lyle," Darcy said, grinning.

"You mean ... All of this was about my disc?" he asked, barely able to wrap his mind around the fact.

"Well, that and the money," she replied, smirking now.

Lyle shook his head, a slow grin spreading across his face. "You are unbelievably amazing, Darcy Hill!" He kissed her, surprising himself.

What surprised him even more that she kissed him back, her arms around his shoulders.

Pulling away, he looked at Darcy with a slightly dopey grin. "Awesome."

"I know I am," she said, laughing softly at his expression.

"Will … will you stay? With me, I mean?" Lyle asked, hesitant. His heart plummeted when she stepped away from him.

"Do you really think I came back for Thai food? I could have sent that disc in the mail, you know… I'm staying, whether you think or know you want me to," Darcy added with a grin.

"I know I want you to stay," he hurried to say, moving to kiss her again. Lyle's eyes landed on the stereo behind Darcy. "Wait right there," he said, quickly moving to find the remote control.

Turning around, Darcy saw the stereo. Shaking her head, she laughed. The sound drew Lyle's attention and he looked at her with a slight frown.

"You don't need a stereo to get my clothes off," Darcy said. "Even if it **is** a NAD T770 digital decoder with 70-watt amps and Burr-Brown DAC's," she added, laughing when his mouth fell open. "Thought I didn't know, did you?"

"Uh. Yeah, something like that," Lyle said, reddening slightly.

"Well, Mr. Richardson, I guess I'll just have to see what I need to do to get _your_ clothes off," she said, heading to the bedroom as she undid her shirt.

Lyle followed her quickly, grinning broadly.

...

The end.

_Thank you to everyone for reading this. I hope you've enjoyed the story_.

...


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